Trying to explain to someone how you might check your testicles for lumps is always a bit embarrassing for all concerned and usually a topic of hilarity and mirth among groups of men who would attend a learning session on this subject. Nobody could actually show someone how to do it with the real ‘things’ and nurses and teachers have to rely on synthetic testicles that are passed round for everyone to have a feel.
This song is to aid a session on the topic by going through what you have to do through song. It is aimed at all men whether they have a learning disability or not and written a bit ‘tongue in cheek’ alongside a light and catchy tune. Listening to this song should allow a man to understand the importance of checking yourself properly without anybody directing that information towards them personally, so making the situation a little less embarrassing. The song could possibly be used at the end of a learning session to review the information. It could even be played in doctors’ waiting rooms so men could hear and take in the information. The words were evaluated by Stuart Whittle and Martin Jones, both nurses who specialise in mens’ health issues from the Arfon Community Learning Disability team who intend to use the song within their workshops. Stuart, alongside Mai Rees (Community LDS Health Team, Wrexham) runs a Sexuality and Relationships course within the school of Nursing and Midwifery at Bangor University, North Wales, and it was on that course that the song (and the whole idea of writing these songs) originated. Helping out with his ukulele is Phil Lee Jones of the band, Gwibdaith Hen Fran.
Hold them Right!
V1
How wonderfully nice it is to have a
Sex life!
Especially if you’re young and
Debonair but what could
Spoil your rumpy pumpy is for your
Balls to get all lumpy so
All you young men out there
be aware you’ve got to
CHORUS
Hold them right don’t
Squeeze them too tight if one’s
Bigger than the other that’s OK and if you
Feel a little swelling on your
Goolies well that’s telling you to
Go and see a doctor right away
V2
if the
Doctor tells you that it might be
Cancer don’t
Panic they can cure it that’s the news a
Regular self-inspection is the
Best form of protection (and why not) we
Love to fondle with our Family
Jewels you’ve got to
CHORUS
V3
you
Shouldn’t be too nervous or
Embarrassed it’s
Nowt to be ashamed of that I’ll
Preach it can
Stop the cancer spreading
Especially if it’s heading to
Parts you couldn’t imagine it could
Reach you’ve got to
LAST CHORUS + FIN